Chapter V　When times are hard “hope” is the key

　Life isn't all fun and games. It can be one difficulty or trouble after another. People grow through hardships, but I think there are a lot of things we want to avoid.
　Some people think that avoiding difficult or troublesome things is not good. The opinion is that it is good to try and fail, but not to trying is bad. But is this correct? It would certainly be good if you could get something out of a challenge that resulted in failure, but it could also result in only bad memories, just a waste of time.
　I know myself best. In this sense, you need to decide for yourself whether you should challenge the unpleasant subject in front of you or stop. Instead, don't blame others for your decision. Just do the obvious: make your own decision and take responsibility for yourself. Even if you get advice from people, you decide for yourself whether or not to implement it. And even if you ran away from the unpleasant thing in front of you, you don't have to be servile. You just have to have the simple feeling that "I can't do it!"
One of the secrets to making your life comfortable is to think positively that you acted honestly as you felt, instead of thinking "I am the one who ran away."

　While avoidable difficulties can be avoided at your own discretion, there are some difficulties that cannot be avoided. Even if you live a serious life, you can get into negative situations that you can't help yourself with.
　To solve a painful situation, it's important to think about the cause. As mentioned above (Chapter 1-8), there are psychological and financial shocks behind a negative situation. You can remove this negative factor, but it may not be easy.
　If you've been having a hard time for a long time, review your "standards" of living.
　Everyone has their own "standards." We are feeling "good", "normal" or "bad" in every moment. Each person has his or her own standard for pain　(difficult times). Some people find it "pain" at little things, while some strong people don't find it "pain" at all.
　When you are feeling painful (having difficult time), it means you are below "normal level" for you. It would be nice to get back to "normal" with a little effort or time, but sometimes it is hard and lasts a long time. If you find it difficult or takes a long time to get back to "normal level", you can lower the standard level of pain and make the current state of pain "normal." In other words, reset your existing values and life once.
　Past habits and pride may get in the way of lowering your standard, but think that it is a temporary measure. Tell yourself, " Revival is possible. But for now, I need to be patient." and accept to lower your standard level and ease yourself.
　For example, let's say a famous athlete suffers a serious injury that he can't recover from. His "normal" was to be active in sports, but after the injury he needs to reset and set a different standard. Or if you fail in business and end up losing all property, the idea is to accept the state after the loss as "normal" once and start over again.
　When things get tough, you should revise the standard downward, but how about the reverse?
　As the standard of living goes up, the standard of "normal" will naturally go up. While it is gratifying to see the level of normal go up, there is no need to insist on raising the standard. When the standard of living goes up, the standard goes up without knowing it. In other words, humans get used to living in luxury very quickly, but feel great resistance when it comes to going back from luxury. If you can control the psychology around here well, you should be able to live honestly and comfortably.

　What should you do after you lower your standard level in negative changes?
　First, consider the cause of the difficulty, take immediate action, and then change your mind and go seize the opportunity. Especially when the painful cause is a financial factor, a passive attitude won't help. Moving aggressively, meeting opportunities, and taking advantage of opportunities are the shortcuts to a revival.
　Opportunities come where there is change. If you act aggressively in a place where there is a lot of change, chances will always come. In trout, you can see your surroundings by moving (becoming sensitive) at the same speed as your surroundings change. Once you have a grasp of the current situation, you examine various possibilities with a broad bird's-eye view. And don't miss the opportunity to break the current situation. Or create an opportunity yourself and open a new path. You can rely on your strong feelings and beliefs.
　Another option is to find happiness in a life of lowered standards, rather than thinking about resurrecting. If you can carry out the theme you want to do for fun in your new life, you don't have to force yourself to be aware of resurrection. There are many ways to enjoy life. This means that there is a chance to be happy at any level of life.

　When times are tough, family and friends can help. They can be helpful in providing direct assistance, useful advice, or even a mentor.
　What you want to cherish on a daily basis is a relationship of trust with someone close to you. If you have a strong relationship of trust, you can help each other effectively. The objective opinion of people who know you well is often on point.
　You need to spend a certain amount of time together to build trust. In addition, the experience of sharing the joys and sorrows will deepen the relationship. For example, friends who toiled together in extracurricular activities, who traveled together, and who shared the joys and sorrows of work know each other's humanity. And among them, a strong relationship of trust is built with those who are kindred spirits.
　The basis of a relationship of trust is an honest relationship. If you're only giving people a false appearance, you can't expect good advice. It's important to always be honest and natural with your family and with your open-minded friends.
　Even if you have a lot of friends and acquaintances, if you don't have anyone you really trust, you'll feel lonely, which leads to self-denial. Cherishing people with whom you can talk honestly and encouraging each other in difficult times is a great support in life.

　Sometimes the right thing to do doesn't match how you feel about it. For example, there are times when we know we should do this, but we don't like it.
　We have been educated on rational thinking, so we can emotionally agree if we decide it's rational. But sometimes logic tells you this is right, but you can't emotionally accept it.
　For example, you might want to cancel a trip with your best friend that's a good deal and full of fun, or a great project that you initiated and everyone around you is helping but it becomes a hassle along the way, or you turn a blind eye to someone who's in trouble right in front of you, or feel bad (different) about your wedding tomorrow to a wonderful partner.
　If it's just you, you are responsible for your own actions and can do as you please. But when you think about the other person and what they've done (their efforts), you don't know what to do. One thing, however, is that you can't lie about your feelings. You can't accept false feelings like " This is absolutely delightful. I'm crazy if I don't find it fun" when it's not fun.
　When you have these conflicting feelings, you need to sort things out and confront your honest feelings.
　If you find yourself walking in circles, it's a good idea to talk to your family or someone close to you. By talking with them, you will naturally be able to sort out your feelings and find a way forward.

　The important thing is to check your feelings once when you feel a little different. Then look back at the current situation from various angles. A change of direction is not a bad thing. Your path is best decided by your own honest feelings.

　The key to getting out of a tough situation is your willingness to get out of it.
People who think "I want to do my best!" have hope. But if you give up and say, "I don't care anymore," there is no progress or hope.
Hope is the driving force in hard times, and hope is followed by happiness.
　It's easy to have hope. All you have to do is want to achieve something. You just have to show your will.
　Whatever the situation, if you have hope, you have a chance to come back. And if you can find a way to make your hopes come true, you just have to work hard and advance to your goal. If you can move through a painful negative situation to zero, happiness is just around the corner. Once you reach the zero point, find a theme you want to do for fun and execute it. If you find more things you enjoy, you are no longer unhappy. You can say that you are over the hard times.